Wow. I’m so sorry. Such great loss. And more loss. Precious memories lost. Practical necessities lost. Exhaustion. Strained relationships. Trauma. I am so very sorry.
Will you give me permission to love you in this letter? Can I remind you of the truth of who you are in the middle of this trauma?
You are so very, very loved. You are important and valuable and precious and cared about. You are not forgotten. You’re not getting what you deserve; you’re not being punished. You’re not being asked to prove anything.
Can I remind you of the truth of who God is in the middle of this trauma?
He is the lifter of your head. He has His arm around you and He is whispering to your heart:
“I’ve got you kid. I am so, so sorry. This world is fallen; this isn’t the way I wanted it to be. I saw this and knew it was coming – I’m with you. I’m here. I’ll give you strength and help. More than that, I’ll love you while your hurt heals and your pain resolves. Please trust me and let me do this for you.”
Again, will you hear me say, “I’m so very sorry.” And this, too. “It’s not going to last forever.”
Will you give yourself permission to receive that hope? The strength that comes from Hope can be the best; it’s more powerful than almost anything when we’re in the middle of the mess.
God is the only One who is known for bringing real beauty from ashes – and He still does. God is the only One who calls dead things out of the grave – and He does. God is the only One who makes a way where there is no other way; He wants to part the waters for you, too. You can trust Him with your hope.
And one more idea – about those around you, and those who aren’t. Stay close; keep working together. Keep believing we care. When anyone hands you ugly words, this reply may remind you who you are, “You can hand me that if you want to, but I’m not going to take it.” Ugly means they’re hurting, too.
Many of us are watching you help and heal and bail and build; your care for and about each other is inspiring. Love really changes everything.
You’ve probably already figured this out; many times the help doesn’t seem like it’s enough. You need more; that’s true.
When those are your very real feelings, please jump in the pool of disappointment with God and let Him hear your heart. Splash and thrash and cry and kick; He’s got you on this one, kid. He’s in that pool with you and He knows your hurt.
And when you’ve exhausted yourself from thrashing and kicking and crying from a hurt that’s very real, He’s going to whisper, “Can I help you out now?”
He wants to give you a hand out of the pool of disappointment because He knows, staying in that pool too long, disappointment can tempt you to swim in bitterness, or maybe even hate. Self-hate is a dreadful temptation.
And bitterness and hate will add to your trauma, not help it. It’ll build walls between you and those who love you and can help, even in ways that don’t seem to be enough. Some of us can help you only in our prayers; bitterness and hate will deny you the relief that comes with our love.
Thank you for loving each other well. Stay close; struggle well. And thank you for your trust; it allows so many of us the privilege of loving you in our prayers.
Please share your thoughts; I love when your comments continue the conversation.