False traditions are the everyday ways we do things – the ways we think things work – that are rooted in lies instead of truth.
What if discovering false traditions have the potential to change your life? For the better!
It happened to me. Especially the false traditions I had about love. For a long time, I thought about love like I thought about math – or shopping – or sports. I thought both sides of the equation always had to be equal; I thought what I gave had to match the value of what I received.
I thought love kept score.
What about you and your family? Is there score keeping associated with relationships?
A few symptoms that could signal false traditions about love include:
- “That’s not fair” spoken when things aren’t equal, instead of when things are evil.
- “If you _________, then I will _____________” spoken about motivating behavior, instead of real consequences of behavior choices.
- Trying hard to earn someone’s attention or affirmation.
- Expecting someone else to earn your attention or affirmation.
- Always/often hearing “no” as punishment, instead of protection.
- Always/often saying “no” as punishment, instead of protection.
- Feeling “ahead” or “behind”; score-keeping in a relationship.
Oh the freedom that comes with real love.
There is a kind of love gentle enough to trust and powerful enough to melt masks and heal broken places. I’ve even witnessed this love strengthening children – and resolving learning issues. It’s amazing what happens when you tell a child, “You’re not behind.” Please read the testimonials on our website http://www.janetnewberry.com/testimonials/.
You’re not behind either. You still have things to learn – and that’s good news, not a report card of deficiencies. I love it when I hear my Heavenly Father say, “We’ll work on it together when you’re ready.”
This kind of love isn’t possible in our old nature. Yes, we can be nice without Jesus – but “love our enemies,” I don’t think so. We have enough trouble loving our spouses and children some days, let alone our enemies. This old nature is the score-keeping nature.
And many days, we forget who we really are – and that we have new equipment for loving. We forget that even “on our worst day, we are Christ in us.” (Thank you, John Lynch.) Using the new heart is awkward at first, like learning to walk when we’re comfortable with crawling.
But loving is what we’re created to do. It’s God’s plan for saving the world and we’re a part of that plan. Love changes everything.
Instead of keeping score, my love reminds you who you really are – instead of asking you to prove it. My love is about you, not me. I can love like that when I trust my score is already settled.
Doug and I are excited about Christian education focused on rich and rigorous academics – and focused on learning to love well and be loved well. Read about our dream for John 15 Academy on our website http://janetnewberry.com
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